Happy Flowers in my Backyard

Happy Flowers in my Backyard

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Upside of Unemployment: Serenity has followed me home.

The Upside of Unemployment: Serenity has followed me home.: I have now been in my new surroundings for just over a month, the furnishings are arranged, pictures hung, the cats are happy and I have sti...

Serenity has followed me home.

I have now been in my new surroundings for just over a month, the furnishings are arranged, pictures hung, the cats are happy and I have still maintained my ability to locate serenity when it is needed.

Next on my plate is to become employed, which hopefully will be happening in the very near future.  So my question is -  Do I need to start a whole new blog when I am no longer unemployed?

Throughout my unemployment I have been on a quest to find and learn how to maintain serenity.  My sojourn in the rustic area with a waterfall in my backyard and no real interruptions to my day helped me achieve this goal.  Now the goal will be to maintain serenity on a daily basis.

An easy way to maintain serenity has been to turn off the t.v. at dinner time, sit at my little table with a candle, a glass of wine and a good book(kindle) and dine.  I also now do not have a t.v. in my bedroom so every night I get into bed with low lights, WXPN's Night-time Echo's programming - music that is filled with very meditative, acoustic, low jazz sounds that lull me into a deeply serene state of mind and lulls me to sleep.

Now I must concentrate on becoming employed and I guess changing the name of my blog.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Upside of Unemployment: Maintaining Serenity Each and Every Day

The Upside of Unemployment: Maintaining Serenity Each and Every Day: Well summer is officially over, but now I strive to find serenity in a new home with no waterfall. I do have plenty of light streaming int...

Maintaining Serenity Each and Every Day

Well summer is officially over, but now I strive to find serenity in a new home with no waterfall.

I do have plenty of light streaming into my many windows and lots of space in which maintain my found serenity.

The one benefit of living away from the hectic pace of everyday living is how easy it is to disconnect and maintain serenity, now I found it to be a daily struggle.

Each and every day I find that there are more issues to deal with then I would normally care to have.  I understand that moving into a rental town home is trying and that there are issues to be dealt with, but it seems to be a daily occurrence and it is very frustrating.  Something that has helped me through this trying couple of weeks has been the peace and quiet of my surroundings.

Each night I go to sleep listening to soothing music via XPN.  It lulls me into sound peaceful sleep and has enabled me to maintain an upbeat attitude throughout the day.   My serenity returns each day in the evening as I sit quietly at my table eating dinner and drinking a glass of wine, while my cats sleep quietly on a chair nearby.

I hope that as each day comes and goes that I will be able to keep a few hours of serenity a part of the day.  It has become my goal to fulfill.


Monday, September 12, 2011

Serenity & Change

Into serenity most come change.

I have come to the conclusion that serenity is fluid-it ebbs and flows throughout your life.  As I am writing this post I am watching and listening to the waterfall in my backyard and feeling a little sad but also exciting over the forward direction my life is now flowing.

It has taken me this summer to learn how to let go of anger, let go of some fears and realize that each day ebbs and flows with its own pace and that I must learn to move within that pace rather than try to fight and change it.  When the flow has a downward spiral you cannot change the current but you can adapt and look forward on how to rise above it and maintain the serenity of the world around you rather than continue to flow downward.

In the past week I have finally located a new home and hopefully will find a new career pathway.  I will be sad to leave the Summer of Serenity, but the seasons ebb and flow and so must I.

I have been asked if I would return to the home at the waterfall and I find that I am torn with loving to have another Summer of Serenity or believing that serenity is something you must find where ever you reside.  After the past 4 months here I truly believe that now I can locate my serenity anywhere, because serenity must be within you in order for it to surround you.

Thank you for being a part of my "Summer of Serenity"


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Finding a new home genie

I have just spent 2 days and many hours looking at apartments and town homes in order to locate a new venue for my serenity.  I am beginning to think that this is an impossibility, the venue not the serenity.

The summer home by the waterfall that has restored my peace of mind and my serenity was literally a stroke of luck and being online and the right time and place.  Now I need it to happen again.

When we sold our home the idea was to "downsize" a little, but what I have seen over the past few days would be downsizing a lot and I wouldn't be able to sell my furniture before it is moved to a "new" home due to the fact it is in containers at a moving/storage facility.  So what now?

One option is to lower my expectations on what I want, but why should I do that?  Throughout the summer of my serenity I have learned several beneficial lessons, most importantly although it's important to care for others you need to put yourself first from time to time.  I think that this is one of those times.  16 years ago I found a house that I liked, I was patient and when it dropped in price as I knew it would, we bought it and it became that home that all of the kids friends wanted to come hang out in and now I would like to feel the same sense of comfort, but a little smaller and no having to use a snow blower - I want the management to take care of that, along with mowing.  I really don't think this is too much to ask.

For the time being I am not panicking nor am I homeless, yet, but I really would like a fairy godmother or a genie to grant me the wish of continuing my serenity in a location that will fit most of my belongings along with 2 cats, a husband and once in awhile my children (there both adults and living on their own).   If that's not possible then could somebody please send me a town home with a dining room large enough for a table that seats 8.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Having Trouble Locating My Serenity

This has been an awful week for me.  In multiple ways the realization that my summer of serenity is fast approaching its end has materialized.

It began with rain-lots and lots of rain that turned the peaceful waterfall into a loud rush-so loud in fact I had to close the window by my desk in order to hear a conversation on the phone.  Stress has set into my soul with the idea that come the end of Labor Day weekend I may be "homeless".

We still have no decision on any fronts for "permanent" employment either for me or my spouse, so now I have to decide what to do:

Option 1 - Send the pets to my spouse and find temporary shelter with my mother.
Option 2 - Rent an apartment near my extended family (mother, sister, son, etc) move my furniture from storage and pray that I actually find employment in that area within a few months time.

I know what you are wondering why isn't there an Option 3 - move in with my spouse but there is a wrinkle in that scenario since he must have a permanent location at least 100 miles from where he is currently "temporarily" residing.

I am mostly stressed about the employment issue and wondering what else I can do besides fundraising.  I have applied for sales jobs but am told I have no experience in spite of the fact that that is exactly what fundraising is - the art of selling.  I have resumes out there for jobs I would love but in today's world it is practically impossible to speak with a human being to follow up on a submittal.  What ever happened to human contact?  We do everything through email, text, cellphone, Skype, etc.  Today when I called a company where I had submitted a resume for a position I would absolutely love to pursue, I was put into a automatic response that said my resume was being looked at and some one would contact me if there was a match.  How do they even know who I am, the automatic response never even asked.

I am angry, upset and disappointed, I wanted this to be the summer of serenity and contentment which it was for most of June and July but now the serenity is waning as the waterfall continues to flow, so do my tears.

The sun has just come out perhaps things will look up in the days to come and my serenity will return, but like the changeable weather, the waterfall and life in general serenity must ebb and flow.  I believe yesterday and today it has ebbed.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Serenity could be slowly wanning

Well the month I most dreaded is upon us - August.  I didn't want August to come because it means that my time surrounded by serenity will so come to an end.  It is now my goal to instill ways to maintain the inner serenity that I have located residing here.

I have taken scads of pictures and I will be taking video as well to record the sounds of the waterfalls to help lull me to sleep when I relocate to city or suburbia.

This place has been a gift to my soul and my inner peace.  Everyone who has visited me has commented on how you cannot help but be relaxed while you are here.

If you have any suggestions on how to maintain this serenity when I relocate I would love to hear from you.  Tell me now while I still have 3 weeks left to enjoy, to relax and to be serene.

I should say though that August although trumpets the end of summer is also the month of my mother's birthday.  She will be a very young 82 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Serenity of Meeting New People

During this summer of my serenity I have made it a goal to meet a lot of new people.  I hope that some of them will at least become friends and some will be acquaintances but I will say that this quest has been fun and will remain a quest throughout the rest of the summer.

On Saturday evening, my husband and I attended a performance at a local distillery.  It was a duo who performed mostly folksy type of music - relatively entertaining, but I was fascinated by the people I met while having a drink at the bar.  There was a couple who had bought a farm after spending a good deal of time leaving in the city-originally they had a smaller home in the area for weekends, but decided to ditch city living for the country and bought a farm.  They are not actually farmers just landowners and they are happy and seem to have located their key to serenity.

I also met a woman who promoted the concert.  She had been a very successful caterer well know to the area and admired for her culinary designs and creations.  She had a accident that crushed her leg and was laid up during that time she came up with a product creation and started marketing it locally.  I by chance had tasted the product at a in-store event at the grocery store near me, loved the product and bought a bottle at the concert she announced that a distributor had picked up her product and it would be marketed to specialty stores in the Long Island, NY area.  By the way, she has given up the catering business and now just does her sesame sauces.

The weekend also introduced me to 4 different people who have pilots licenses and fly their own small planes, as well as a young PhD candidate who wants to start her own nonprofit to help bring arts & music to students whose public schools no longer offer these programs.  I am going to help her come up with a plan of action and advise her on steps to format this endeavor.

This weekend was an eye opener for me.  I found out that in order to maintain and keep my serenity I must surround myself with people who have already located their serenity and their "passion" and remove from my circle the people who are consistently throwing off negativity.

Serenity apparently can not only be found in waterfalls and nature but also in the people that you meet.

Monday, July 18, 2011

While I search for Serenity - the world seems to be baking

I am sure that I don't need to state this but it's hot and it's only going to get hotter as this week progresses.  I thought that coming to the mountains and being close to water would lessen the heat of the summer but apparently this is not true.

The peacefully serene waterfall is now only a trickle and the only real relief is the pool.  I am finding it difficult to maintain serenity as I sweat.

I have decided that tomorrow I will give in to the need for some air conditioning and go to the mall and the movie theater and see the last Harry Potter movie.  While the mall's air conditioning will probably be very serene or at the most very comfortable, I am guessing that the movie will not be too serene since Voldemort has to die.  I did read all 7 books some more than once.

In the next few weeks my husband and I will be compelled to make some life altering decisions, most importantly will be where we will have to relocate to once September comes around and since we don't own a RV, I'm pretty sure it means an apartment in a city somewhere, only we don't know where as of today.

There is a part of me that has become very attached to this lifestyle and while I know in my brain that it cannot last forever, I am wondering how to maintain the serenity when I have to return to a city life.

Wow, it is pouring out and thundering, maybe this will revive the waterfall and lessen the heat a least for this evening.

I guess sometimes you can find serenity by wishing for nature to cooperate?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Can Heat be serene?

I have been wondering all day long whether really hot weather can be considered "serene"?  I am either sitting on the screened-in porch hoping for a cool breeze or laying on a float in the pool (which is supposed unheated but today was 82 degrees.  Normally these activities would be considered very serene, but I am finding it difficult to be at ease when it's in the 90s in a mountain retreat, even the waterfall seems to be unhappy.

On Sunday my brother, sister-in-law and my nephew stopped in for an overnight visit on their way to a performance my nephew was beat boxing in at a resort in the Catskills.  My sister-in-law immediately took to the surroundings, kicked back and found her serenity, but my brother, although he had an enjoyable visit seemed to have quite a difficult time locating his peacefulness.  I find myself concerned that in spite of what would be a "life changing" accident just under 2 years ago he still has not found his "serenity" at least as far as I can tell.  I cannot force him to find his inner peace, but I hope that some day in the very near future he will realize that life happens and you cannot always control situations, sometimes you just have to let "the chips fall as they may."

I know I have control issues as well (maybe it's genetic) but the past six months have really allowed me to take a hard look at my life, as I have send in earlier posts-when I began this journey of unemployment everyone told be to use the time to find my passion, but I have found it's not the passion I need to locate it's my serenity and the ability to learn that I cannot control everything, only a few things.  This realization has helped me locate my serenity.  Although, the waterfall and greenery have certainly had an impact.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Serenity and Freedom

This past weekend I went to visit Bethel Woods which houses a museum dedicated to Woodstock and the summer of love-1969-I was 12 and at camp for the summer, but I remember hearing about it from counselors who wanted to attend.  My husband who is 6 years older than I am actually wanted to get in his car and go up to Woodstock, but opted out when they showed the traffic on the roads near Yaskers Farm.
Having now driven on these roads I can understand the traffic issues, but that really has nothing to do with this blog.

As I wandered through the exhibits remembering the music and looking at the news footage of various events of the decade (60's)  I realized how important our current freedoms have become.  As "boomers" who at one time eschewed the corporate life that we now all lead I wonder if each of us needs to go back to Woodstock and take stock of our lives.

In the sixties and early seventies we wanted to be out of a war (okay no change there only now it's a different war), we wanted civil rights, we wanted women's rights, free speech and for our opinions to matter.  While many of these issues have reached a goal, especially women's rights and for the most part civil rights although I will say we still have along way to go.  We do not want to give up our big cars, our designer clothes or going to the favorite "in" spot to dine, but we are trending towards less processed foods and more organic, free-range and home grown products.  Yes let's hear it for the "Hog" Farm - Wavy Gravy's commune that helped feed the 500,000 hippies that showed up at Yasker's Farm for 3 days of Peace, Love, Rock and Roll rain, mud and fun.

My goal for the summer has been to find serenity in as many parts of my life as possible.  I am lucky - I have peace in my life and I am finding serenity as well.  Do I wish I had been old enough to attend Woodstock?  At the time I probably would have said absolutely, now I am happy with who I am, how old I am and where my life has taken me to this point.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Upside of Unemployment: Can you consider Zumba a part of Serenity?

The Upside of Unemployment: Can you consider Zumba a part of Serenity?: "Last Thursday a couple of friends talked me into going with them to a Zumba class, being that I hadn't had any real intense physical activit..."

Can you consider Zumba a part of Serenity?

Last Thursday a couple of friends talked me into going with them to a Zumba class, being that I hadn't had any real intense physical activity in a month and half, I figured why not.  It actually was a lot of fun and physically very demanding, but I wondered if it fit into my summer of serenity.

Would I be better off getting a "workout" through a yoga class - the studio that offers the Zumba also has multiple yoga classes?

There is a part of me that thinks jumping and moving around to loud hip/hop and Latin music is not really serene and since this is the summer of my serenity I am checking out the yoga classes this week.  The yoga studio has a restorative yoga session that uses props and is slightly more physical that the normal yoga class, I am thinking that this might work better in the summer scheme.

In the past couple of weeks I ventured away from serenity by traveling to New York City for a day and Philly for the weekend and while it was wonderful to see my family and have my son fix my Mac issue I found that I truly missed my greenery and waterfall and being alone in the house in the country.  It was wonderful to wake up this morning having slept under a ceiling fan listening to the sounds of water rushing and absolute darkness (the home I stayed in Philly had an unusually large number of people so I slept on a couch in the basement with the sounds of compressors and people walking over my head).  I feel refreshed and ready to begin July.  Although I am very sad that this summer is moving so quickly.  I wonder how hard it will be to leave here in August and return to the "chaos" of the real world.

That was a fleeting moment and it's gone as quickly as it popped into my mind, the waterfall and Hercules purring have brought me back to serenity.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Ebb & Flow of Waterfalls and Life in General

The serenity of life by a waterfall has been upset in several ways.  First and foremost the waterfall is no longer a peaceful flow.  We have had several inches of rain in the last 24 hours causing a flood watch for the river and intense flow over the waterfall.  (Look at my pics on Facebook).

The second is this morning I received an email telling me that I wasn't chosen for a position (I had 3 separate interviews and references checked) for one reason only  I didn't have the disease or a close connection to it.  I can't argue with that logic but if that was a consideration from the get go shouldn't it have been stated earlier in the process?

I know in my heart that I will eventually find a position that suits my talents, maybe it will even locate talents yet undiscovered, but I still feel disappointed.

It is hard to be a happy camper on a dreary day, but still I am sitting at my desk gazing out the window at the steady rain, incredibly powerful gushing waterfall and lush green gardens wondering if this is just a part of the natural ebb and flow of life.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

A query that needs advice

This weekend my serenity was added to by the addition of my husband and kids.  It was a lovely evening, filled with a fire in fireplace, music and s'mores along with many interesting topics of conversation.  I love that my kids are adults and that the conversations can swing to multiple topics usually simultaneously.  But this morning the serenity was interrupted by the instance of my kids that I am allowing my fear of moving water to infer with fun family time.  

Perhaps I am and perhaps I have allowed my fears to take hold, but I also have no real desire to kayak down the Delaware River on a day that is very sunny and in the 80s.  I know my limits, I know that just an hour in the sun without water reflection will cause me to burn and why should I get into a kayak going down a river when I don't swim very well and I burn at the drop of a hat?  

I am currently sitting on my porch enjoying the sunny day, writing my blog, reading my Kindle and listening to the waterfall.  In spite of what my family thinks I am very happy, very content and filled with inner peace with the day and looking forward to the evening.

Isn't that what counts or should I listen to my kids and find a way to over come the fear of kayaks, canoes and sailboats?  By the way, I do go in the ocean, have been on powerboats, ocean-liners and party boats as well as walking into and floating in the ocean.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Locating my inner peace

Well on Sunday I turned 54 as birthdays go it was filled with inner peace.  The day itself was cloudy and drizzly but inside it was quiet and peaceful.  Strawberries bought at the Barryville farmers market provided the best Strawberry pancakes with fresh maple syrup to start the day - prepared and served by Scott (breakfast is definitely his meal), then came the Sunday New York Times and a lite lunch.  Being 54 is pretty good so far.

As I have written in other posts my backyard fills me with serenity, today we had so much rain that the waterfall is flowing full force the sound is mesmerizing.

On Thursday I will be leaving the serenity for the pulse of the big city - I will be in NYC for the entire day for a meeting.  This will be the first time I will have left peace, quiet and serenity for an entire day.  I am very interested in seeing my reactions and looking forward to both a day in the city and returning to serenity.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Upside of Unemployment: Passion vs Inner Peace

The Upside of Unemployment: Passion vs Inner Peace: "In the past couple of weeks since arriving in Barryville I have wondered about finding my passion and how to accomplish this endeavor, but a..."

Passion vs Inner Peace

In the past couple of weeks since arriving in Barryville I have wondered about finding my passion and how to accomplish this endeavor, but as the heat of day worn on yesterday and I spent my time wondering at a local mall and seeing a movie I wondered if I was missing the point.

Maybe it's not "passion" I am searching for but inner peace.  Don't get me wrong - I am not tormented inside, but I wonder if I am truly joyful.

Last night I quietly ate my dinner on the screened-in porch watching the sunset, the waterfall slowly beginning to lose steam (no rain in the past week and half) and the lightening bugs filling the air outside and wondered if there was anything more beautiful?  This is the whole point of my being in a cabin by a waterfall for the next couple of months, but then the world intruded and serenity was disturbed by a horde of motorcycles passing at high speed in the front of my cabin a road that is well traveled during the day but usually quiet at night.

If I work at locating my inner peace and my serenity will it be possible to block out the "noise" of the world around me and maintain tranquility?

Near by Barryville is a Buddhist Meditation Center that offers instruction on finding inner peace.  I am wondering if it is something that can be taught or if it is something that must be found within.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

How do you find your Passion?

When I first became unemployed everyone said to me - "Use the time to find your passion"  But here it is 9 months later and I am still searching.

So the question is - What exactly is passion and I don't mean romantic.  I mean life's passion?  And more importantly can somebody actually help me locate mine?

I love to cook, I love to watch the waterfall out my office window and the peacefulness of the water now trickling over the rocks, but I am pretty sure this isn't my passion.

Can anyone out there give me the directions to locating my passion?

Monday, June 6, 2011

Serenity or Insanity

I am now temporarily residing in a beautiful cabin with a waterfall and pool in my backyard, but for the past few months instead of serenity it has been chaos and insanity.

For just under a year I have been unemployed - the way isn' t important, but how I reacted is-first I was angry and relieved, then I became anxious and concerned especially when my spouse also became unemployed, but luckily he is in a field where there are few experts and a lot of positions, so his unemployment was short-lived.  Mine on the other hand is far more difficult - I worked in nonprofit mostly doing fund raising and special events-there are a lot of us out there.

So in March I/we made a life changing decision, since our children are grown and live else where we would put the house up for sale figuring that it would take a couple of months to sell and hopefully we would have a more definitive idea as to our future, but life sometimes throws things into your path.  12 days after listing our home we had a buyer and 1 1/2 months later we planned a move into storage.

We downsized, we eliminated and we moved temporarily into a beautiful cabin in the mountains.  The way I figured it my time has come to be serene, calm and uncluttered.

Imagine my surprise when the very first 3 days were spent without electricity due to a massive power failure in the area.  I was totally disconnected and in my opinion it was the best thing that every happened to me.

Serenity it is wonderful.